chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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