Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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