last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He did a backflip because drugs
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
