Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
