Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well you can't waste a boner
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
