hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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