Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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