At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
