ugly people sure do ruin things
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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