Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
