i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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