Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
