woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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