I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Farmville is her only friend.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Randomize
