I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
