i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
