i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
