i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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