What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
