Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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