you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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