What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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