Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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