yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
