who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
