seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
