Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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