cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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