Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
