i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
