Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She's the barista slut.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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