I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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