What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
