So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
