This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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