I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
