Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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