can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
