I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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