i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize