You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
