i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
