if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
