I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
