I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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