We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
