Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
