I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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