He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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