quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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