it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
