i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
