I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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