It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
