She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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