I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
