North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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