Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My balls are so social today.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
